Editing Samples
Listed below are just a few samples of my editing work.
Example #1 – Urban Fantasy
Before:
It was stupid of me to think that I could outrun a pack of vampires. I mean, if anyone would have a chance at lasting longer than a couple of minutes, it would be me. My immortal strength let me run faster than any human could, but it wasn’t fast enough.
After:
I could almost feel the sharp fangs pierce the back of my neck as I huffed and puffed. Willing my legs to pump faster, I peeked a cautious glance over my shoulder to gauge the distance between me and them. Damn thirsty pack of blood suckers had succeeded at closing the gap. My immortal strength let me run faster than any human could, but my capture hovered just within their reach.
Example #2 – Romance
Before:
Physical toughness was what everyone in his circles had, but mental toughness was what he’d perfected in the tough school of life. It was what had helped in survive in prison, and what he attributed his current success to. Just when he thought about Caroline and that man, his control threatened to slip.
After:
Everyone in his circles had physical toughness but mental toughness had to be perfected in the challenging school of life. Concentrating on cultivating a relentless control had helped him survive prison, and contributed to his current success. Only when he thought about Caroline and that man, did his control threaten to slip.
Example #3 – Thriller (UK)
Before:
Johnson studied the man hard. Certain features bore a resemblance, a striking resemblance in fact, to someone he once knew. The realization hit him, the magnitude of his situation sinking in. Tears started to well in his eyes, fear turning his stomach into knots.
After:
Johnson studied the man hard. Certain features bore a resemblance, a striking resemblance in fact, to someone he once knew. The realization hit him, his eyes widening into shocked orbs. Johnson’s jaw dropped as if it had become unhinged, the magnitude of his situation sinking in bone deep. As deep as the cold, unyielding earth below his own face. Tears started to well in his eyes, fear turning his stomach into knots.
Example #4 – Historical Fiction
Before:
Joanna turned her attention to the other man, Rowan. The way her eyes opened wide upon a second glance at him was annoying as was the sudden heat flush her body. Where Nelson was a blonde Adonis, Rowan was even more stunning to look at. Dark hair and obvious muscles beneath his down jacket, but no welcoming smile in his eyes or on his lips. His jaw was set, his lips pressed into a thin line, and there was a restlessness about him that no one could miss.
After:
Joanna turned her attention to the other man, Rowan. The way her eyes widened during her second glance at him pricked her annoyance as did the sudden heat flushing her body. Rowan’s stunning good looks set her back on her heels, even more so than Nelson’s boyish charm. The brooding man possessed dark hair and obvious muscles beneath his down jacket, but no welcoming smile lit his eyes or touched his lips. His chiseled jaw was set, his lips pressed into a thin line, and there an obvious restlessness enveloped him like a cloak.
For more information and samples of my editing, please contact me.